Rosie’s story
Written by Katie Hargreaves, Rosie’s mum
Rosie has always been since birth the most adventurous cheeky nonstop little girl We always joked that she either ran or just sat there was never an in between! She really was such a joyful happy child.
Life brought its challenges to us like most families, my husband and I separated, Covid hit, grandparents died and although really challenging times we rode the storm, we thought very well.
Then in the beginning of the Summer of 2022 when Rosie was 9 the Rosie we loved slowly began to disappear. Rosie had always been active and loved running, and we enjoyed weekly runs together. She attended an Athletics Club, netball and acro lessons and Joe Wicks had become a keen favourite after Covid. But we were now seeing changes she now HAD to run, she HAD to do the hill route, she HAD to do Joe Wicks and in all honest little did I know about the amount of exercise she was doing in secret. That summer she began asking if things were ‘healthy’ and became really rigid in her thinking.
I rang the doctor, and I explored this, the Dr didn’t see her (it was all over the phone) but said he thought it was an ED due to the marriage breakdown and this was Rosies way of taking control. No weight was taken, and he didn’t see Rosie but said he would refer to the hub and I had to wait.
School started to report that Rosie was now keeping her coat on in class and was wearing her hat and glove and was sitting by the radiator as she was always so cold, and her skin was tuning purple.
During the Christmas holiday Rosie started to refuse meals and become very emotional. My memories of this holiday are intense, lots of tears and me calling the doctors numerous times to see where we were in the referral process-later we found out we had been missed from the list.
In early January Rosie obsession with baking had become significant. One eve she was baking a cake for her teacher when she accidently licked the spoon and ate some chocolate. Rosie became incredibly distressed banging her head on the tiles floor and saying she wanted to kill herself. I decided I had no choice but to take her to A n E.
We were seen by a DR, and they talked to Rosie about food being like petrol in the car-oh how we heard this throughout our journey! They offered an overnight stay, but Rosie refused and I stupidly agreed. They said if she kept to the meal plan then she could go home. I thought this had been what Rosie needed to change her behaviours.
The trip to A and E did trigger a response from CAHMS and we were assessed. Rosie convinced them that she was ok and so we left with another appointment in a month’s time.
I left feeling scared and disillusioned. I ended up emailing the head of CAHMS and to be fair we were given an appointment that week to see the ED nurse and the doctor and nurse who would soon become significant people in our lives.
At the appointment they told me Rosie had an Eating Disorder and exercise addiction and prescribed medication.
We were referred to a dietitian on the Monday but unfortunately it was online and Rosie didn’t respond well. The calories were decreasing and by the end of the week she had collapsed at school.
I took her to the hospital and after an initial battle with the triage nurse who told me because it was mental health there was nothing they could do we saw a doctor who immediately recognised what was happening and told me Rosie would be admitted and put on a 2 week refeeding programme. I was in shock I think. How was I going to manage my job, Rosie’s big sister for 2 weeks! I had no idea that when they said this was start of a long journey that it would ever be more than these 2 weeks!
On the first day Rosie actually had a few snack and in my naivety and lack of understanding of ED I thought this had been the shock that she needed but then she refused everything, including water. On the second day I was in town for a quick half an hour with Esme when they called to say her organs were in danger and if we didn’t do something she was at risk of coma and so a NG tube was fitted. Holding Rosie down as she sobbed and screamed whilst the nurses inserted the tube will be an image I will always remember.
This was the start of 4 months as inpatient at our local hospital.
We were then told that the only option left was for Rosie to have treatment off Island. Rosie was now 10 having had her birthday in hospital and in May Rosie flew to Ellen Mede in London.
How could I leave my 10 year old daughter?
How had it got so bad?
Why had I not acted sooner?
Why didn’t she just eat?
All these questions and many more circled in my head.
In October after 4 months in UK and 9 months away from home Rosie was discharged.
‘Ellern Mede saved Rosie’s life’
The support she received was phenomenal from all staff and the care and love they shared with our family was over and above any job description. As much as I did not want to take Rosie over to the UK, as much as I did not want her to be an inpatient it was are only option for recovery and Ellen Mede will forever hold a place in my heart. However, discharge day in all honesty was just the beginning of recovery and we are still learning to live with the fear and anxiety.
Rosie struggled with friendships and adapting to life after hospital. I had to learn, and I still am to process all of what happened, to let go of guilt and to let go of fear.
But Rosie was able to start secondary school with all peers and is now able to take part in all her sports she loved including playing netball for the Island.
We are coming out of the darkness; we are learning and most importantly we have Rosie back – we have a resilient girl who has shown remarkable strength at such a young age.
