Talking about recovery and school
Barbara Melik, Lead Teacher of Ellern Mede Hospital School
Students returning to mainstream schools after experiencing an eating disorder often face a number of challenges. Anxiety around food and mealtimes can be particularly intense in busy dining areas where little structured support is available. Body image pressures also increase in larger peer groups, where comparison and social judgment can feel overwhelming.
‘At the same time, academic pressure creates an additional strain, as students may worry about catching up with missed work or keeping up with expectations’
A lack of understanding from both teachers and peers can further complicate the situation, leaving students feeling isolated or misunderstood. Reintegration into the social environment of school is also difficult, as young people may be anxious about how to explain their absence or re-establish friendships. In addition, rigid school routines often clash with recovery needs such as therapy sessions, meal plans, and periods of rest.
‘I knew I didn’t want to get unwell again but also knew that having an eating disorder wasn’t just as easy as ‘snapping’ out of it. It was going to take time, hard work and sitting with a lot of uncomfortable feelings.’
The small size of the school allows staff and students to build strong and positive relationships, while the shared understanding among peers reduces feelings of isolation and fosters mutual support. We work closely with home schools to ensure that individual needs are recognised and that appropriate adjustments and support are in place both during and after reintegration.
Flexibility within our setting means we can prioritise recovery without compromising learning, and when the time is right, we carefully introduce appropriate challenges to help students grow in confidence and independence. Importantly, we celebrate progress in all its forms, recognising achievements not only in academic work but also in the vital steps taken along the recovery journey.
10 top tips for going back to mainstream school with an ed
Hope Virgo, Expert by experience
Going back to school when you are in recovery from an eating disorder can feel so tough. There is so much stigma around eating disorders, and a huge lack of understanding of around them. The reality is, if your behaviours around food and you body changes people will naively think everything is fine when it may feel far from that in those moments.
Surround yourself with the right people: From formal support at school which could be to identify a few teachers you can approach, to thinking about how your friends could support you. This will also mean removing yourself from toxic dietbased conversations if you find this triggering. You could also have a teacher or school nurse to check in with you after mealtimes initially.
Own your story: It can feel scary going back to school with an eating disorder whether you have been out of school or treated in the community for many it can feel challenging. For some people they might find it helpful to share what has been going on with their friends, for others, they might now so work out what you want to do. For me, writing things down and so I know what I do and don’t want to share was always useful.
Invest in clothes that fit and recycle the old stuff: If your body has changed in recovery invest in some new uniform or clothes. I also have a rule in my house, that clothes that feel too tight need to be recycled as they aren’t helping anyone. Doing this can feel hard, but it will be worth doing in the long run for your recovery.
Look at the menu each week: for some people knowing what food is going to be on offer can be useful. If this is you, ask for the school to send a lunch menu home each Sunday night. If you have a packed lunch, work out what is going to go in it. I cannot recommend practise meals enough in these different environments!
Prepare for comments about food, calories or body image: Unfortunately, school can come with peer comments. Practise responses or deflection strategies with someone after. You could learn the facts around calorie counting is just ridiculous or explain to people that you find it hard and move the conversation on.
Have a safe space at school: Identify somewhere you can go if things feel overwhelming (library, nurse’s office, counsellor’s office).
Manage school stress: Be aware that stress might feel triggering. I know, only too well, how hard it is to not always put recovery first. But it is so important you do, and so taking time back to rest, and manage work in the right way is key.
Enjoy non-food activities with friends: Clubs, hobbies, and activities you enjoy can help shift your focus from food and body image to things that give you joy and connection. And if you are going to a friend’s house after school for food, have a think about how you can make it work for you too.
Recognise the signs in yourself: When I was in recovery, I had moments where life just felt tough, and it was those moments where the anorexia tried to pull me back, making me obsess over things. I might start cutting corners in recovery thinking this is okay, but it isn’t. Whatever eating disorder behaviour it is be aware of that and speak to someone (however hard that feels) when it comes up.
‘Be kind to yourself: recovery is not always linear. If you have a tough day at school, that’s okay.’