Before being admitted to Ellern Mede, I was battling a fight with an eating disorder that was unbeatable.
I began my struggle with an eating disorder at around 14 years old. At the time it wasn’t so obvious to the public, but internally I knew that something was not right. Over the next 2 years this battle continued. It felt like there was nothing that I could do about it. My physical and mental health was deteriorating at a rapid rate which was having a huge impact on my life.
I was in denial and told my family and doctors that I would get better. This did not happen. I was eventually admitted to my local hospital. Local doctors, my family, and myself did not know what else to do with my ill health. I was on a children’s ward with the goal of resting and physically improving. Again, this did not happen. Of course, the hospital staff did everything they could but they are not eating disorder experts, I felt alone. My health continued to get worse until finally I was admitted to Ellern Mede at age 16.
Arriving at Ellern Mede was the scariest thing to happen to me, but looking back, the best thing that has happened to me. I arrived with no happiness, no hope, and no intention of getting better because I could not see an end. Eating disorders grip you so tightly that you are unable to see an ending. You become comfortable being in that grip. Luckily for me, I was arriving in a place full of experts that would give me the environment I needed to not only become physically better, but also help me get mentally better by removing the grip that my eating disorder had over me.
I was so used to allowing my eating disorder take control of me and my life, but over time I was shown that I can have my life back and take back my own control. Slowly I learned that to beat my eating disorder I needed to want to beat it. I needed to want my life back, I needed to want to become healthy, I needed to want to recover from my eating disorder. Ellern Mede gave me the tools that I needed for this to happen.
I was a patient at Ellern Mede for just under a year, which is a long time to be in a hospital environment and away from my family. However, that is what was required for me to be in the position that I am in today. Becoming physically healthier is one thing, but to fully beat an eating disorder you need to remove the mental grip and control that it has on you. There is no easy short-cut of doing this, it takes time.
I am grateful for the time that I spent in Ellern Mede. I would not be in the position that I am in today without them and have left with my life back and with life-long connections to people that I will be forever thankful for.